Local Woman Goes Mad After Viewing Baby Tiger Videos
A Portland woman was rushed to the hospital yesterday after watching a video of baby tigers romping with an orangutan. Jan Underwood, 50, remains in critical condition after consuming almost three times the recommended maximum dosage of cuteness.
"She was sitting there, squealing like she always does when she's on Facebook," her husband, Rick Craycraft, said. "And then she just started seizing."
A spokesperson for Providence Portland said that cuteness related E.R. visits have "skyrocketed" since online videos of interspecies interactions started to go viral a few years ago. "We have to be cautious," the spokesperson, Rhonda Morrison, said. "Correlation is not causation. But," she added, "we are seeing a trend. Extreme cuteness has become epidemic."
Underwood is expected to make a full recovery, but the going will be slow. Her husband said doctors have prescribed many hours of ugly dog videos to bring her back into balance.